Today, Falco and I went with a crew of friends to the Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield, CA. It was my brilliant idea, and we were both pretty excited about it. The hour-long drive went well, and Falco was giddy when we got out of the car and he saw the enormous jelly bean out front. That was probably the happiest moment we had there.

We got inside, and it was a huge place with high ceilings and a million kinds of candy dispensers and loads of people and color everywhere. What started as a fun, exciting adventure quickly turned into an overstimulating, over-crowded hellscape for my child. After a half hour of waiting for the tour to start, he had deteriorated into a hitting, whining, squirming mess. I thought we just needed to get the tour (and fun) started to get the good times rolling, but he was well past the point of no return by the time we got our paper hats and made it upstairs for the tour.

By the time the (lame) tour started, he had already struck pretty much every adult and child in our party and would not stop whining about wanting a beverage and why was it taking so long and when could we go home, etc. About 10 minutes in (about an hour after arrival), I finally carried him out of there like a sack of potatoes and sat in the car with a crying kid until we both calmed down.

After our cronies made it out with free jelly beans in hand, we went to Westfield Mall and ate lunch at Chick-Fil-A, which made it all worth it. Falco had pulled himself together by lunchtime, and good times were had by all. (I need to go email Mr. Chick-Fil-A right now and beg for a San Francisco location.)

Moral of the story: If your kid gets frustrated and overstimulated and mean in crowded indoor spaces, don’t take him to busy factory tours. Also, Chick-Fil-A makes delicious chicken sandwiches.