Andi’s exciting life.

Those of you who know me in person know that I am not a high-class dresser. I wear jeans, joke T-shirt, hoodie, and sneakers or flip flops 95% of the time. The other 5% is spent awkwardly (and probably unsuccessfully) trying to look sharp with my old and mostly out-of-style wardrobe. It’s not exactly that I think I look bad in my standard garb, but I definitely don’t look nice or grown up either. So, I’ve been contemplating some kind of makeover of late, but it’s hard to make myself over when I don’t really have any sense of style or taste. Plus, after looking like a college student constantly for years, I feel strange if I all of sudden try wearing a skirt to playgroup. People will wonder why I’m all dressed up, and then I feel silly. The makeover I want is to start wearing lots more skirts and dresses, but I think it’s hard to not be too dressy with that look. Plus, I have San Francisco weather to deal with. It’s not exactly warm here, so I have to figure out tights and boots and jackets. PLUS, I’m a full-time mom, which means sitting on the floor and going to playgrounds and such.

Maybe I need to start small and get a couple outfits inspired by how I want to look every day but just wear them when I have somewhere to go, like a party. That would ease me in. When I start to have a decent supply of non-T-shirts, then I could dabble in wearing a skirt instead of jeans to playgroup. This will definitely involve some shopping. Maybe even thumbing through fashion magazines or catalogs. This sounds a lot like spending time and money on myself, which I haven’t done much of in a couple of years. Maybe it will help me to remember that I’m still Andi and not just Mommy!

As I have mentioned before, Falco has had stellar sleep habits for the past several months. He eagerly goes into his bed wide awake for naps and bedtime without complaint, that is until this past week. Last Saturday we took a big step and spent a night away from him. We were invited to a fancy wedding in Napa, and Matt’s parents came out to a visit and to stay with the boy while we were gone. They got here a couple days before we left to give Falco time to get comfortable with them, and then we went on our trip. He did great the 24 hours that we were away from him, and I was very proud of all of us. He and I had never been separated for more than two or three hours, so I thought we handled it well.

The day we got home, he was fine and went to bed normally. The next day, he wanted nothing to do with Matt’s mom. I guess he thought if she was there it meant that I might leave. Beginning that night, he started resisting going to bed in a major way. Now a week later, I still have to peel him off me to put him to bed while he is screaming and crying and reaching for me. Awful. I feel like a horrible human being for leaving him like that, but I don’t know what else to do. No matter how long I stay with him or try to comfort him, I have to leave eventually and the result is the same. I’m just hopeful that this will pass soon and he will go back to being Mr. Perfect at sleeping.

Look at the size of that thing, all for under a buck fifty!

It has been striking me lately how intense the eye contact is between Falco and I. I’m sure it has been like that since the beginning, but now I realize that we are in a locked gaze for much of the day. Sometimes at meal times, I realize that I have hardly broken the stare while poor Matt is sitting across from me, looking (feeling?) ignored. If anyone else looked at me the way Falco does, it would either be very creepy or intimate, or both. I think it’s a special, beautiful, wonderful thing, but I also think I should get a handle on it when others are around.

Just when I thought I couldn’t despise Rosco any more, this morning he crossed a line that should never be crossed. I was undertaking the lovely job of changing Falco’s dirty diaper, which has to be done on the floor now so that I can pin him down with my leg to inhibit him from leaving the scene or involving his hands. The offending diaper was off, and I set it down behind me while I cleaned him up and put on the clean one. I turn around to pick it up when the job is done, and there is Rosco, licking the dirty diaper. That’s right. My dog was eating human excrement. I was ready to throw him out on the street right then, even more so than after he has destroyed yet another of Falco’s toys. As far as I’m concerned, if you are eating human shit, you are not domesticated. Unfortunately, since he is nearly blind and deaf and dumb as a rock, I don’t think he could live off the land if I set him free to live like a wild animal.

ETA: Before anyone attacks me, this post was sarcastic if that wasn’t clear. Obviously I am not really going to let my 12-year-old shit tzu fend for himself on the streets. Sheesh.

Pasta salad: Labor intensive but worth it.

What up, people? I wonder if I even have any readers anymore. I realize that this has become largely a repository of photos because that’s the most blogging I can manage to squeeze in most of the time. Thanks to my fantastic, foxy, brilliant husband (yes, I have been drinking, which makes me compliment liberally), I can easily send photos from my phone to my blog, which lets me share adorable moments with the world instantly. I do mean to actually provide narrative here as well, but life gets in the way.

For instance, did you know that I have a part-time job now? It is pretty fresh news, and I haven’t spread the word. I started helping out Matt’s boss at his new company with some HR stuff, and he hired me as his part-time assistant as of last week. It is a perfect opportunity for me because I can work from home on my own time, and it is less rigid and more lucrative than medical transcription. I’m loving the work, my boss is great, and it’s nice to have something new and interesting and challenging to do.

Don’t get me wrong; raising Falco is always new and challenging too. That kid is so active and busy and funny (and demanding). He seems to do new things every day, and I think this is my favorite age so far. He’s so cute I can hardly stand it. I must admit though that I am constantly thinking that toddlers are like mental patients. His mood goes from elated to angry to whiny to fascinated in a span of 90 seconds. The good news about that is that if he is in a bad mood, it’s not likely to last long. I’d say 90% of his waking hours he is busy but delightful (meaning, he is fun but into everything and needing constant attention and supervision). The other 10% of the time he is whining or groaning about his displeasure with life. I mean, could I take any longer to get him grapes or make my laptop farther out of his reach? These are the types of frustrations he faces.

We’re still watching his pal, Julia, twice a week. That’s going pretty well, but he is still being too rough with her. He clearly really likes her and is very comfortable with her, but he’s a little too comfortable I guess. He doesn’t grab and pull and slap his other friends like he does with her. He treats her like I would imagine he would a sibling, while he shows a little more self control around his friends he doesn’t know as well. I like to think they both benefit from their time together despite Falco’s beatings. She is still always excited to see him, so I don’t think she’s traumatized thus far.

Not much more is going on except that this weekend is MOTHER’S DAY!!!!!111 I’m expecting the boy to fully grasp the importance of this holiday and to be extra sweet to me all day. I’ll report back.